Babble On...!
Bye! Ian | Mar 13, 09 | 10:15 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Outtakes
Bye! Ian | Mar 12, 09 | 11:23 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Goodbye, Marion Berry
The President has to say goodbye to his Crackberry, which is not as bad as saying he has to say goodbye to Marion Berry's crack. In a back room -- overlooking Harvard Square, no less.
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Bye! Ian | Nov 18, 08 | 12:31 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................We're All Macacas Now
Tailgating is domestic terrorism... Finally, Michelle's "whitey" tapes are released, and they show some parking lot scenes where Obama might have mugged them all and carved into their cheeks Arabic-looking, ghetto-style, backward Bs, if he wasn't secretly a terrorist -- I mean, a coward. And if he wasn't secretly a coward -- I mean, a terrorist. I mean, an A-rab who doesn't know the alphabet too well. Like these A-holes:Bye! Ian | Oct 28, 08 | 1:15 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Know Socialism
Why we need affirmative action to send a few more white people to a good college...
Bye! Ian | Oct 21, 08 | 12:40 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Greasers 'Not Pro-American'
Bowser and all of Sha Na Na, including the token black guy, Denny "Obama" Greene: Columbia graduates, dontyaknow.
Bye! Ian | Oct 20, 08 | 12:18 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................More Craps
Proof there is a God, who doesn't care about your Verbal. Or your Math.
Bye! Ian | Oct 12, 08 | 2:40 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................The Prisoner
Here is the Hamburglar, prisoner to his Bill Bennett-size (and that's huge ... really fat) gambling addiction. We can literally hear his screams: Don't touch me! Don't you know I'm an admiral's son!
Bye! Ian | Oct 12, 08 | 1:18 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................She Can See Manchuria From Her House
Bye! Ian | Oct 09, 08 | 11:57 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Decode This Cookbook
They're serving man again but I just want dessert.We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby ...The Palins
Bristol is following her mother and father's example of choosing life in the midst of a difficult situation. We are committed to praying for Bristol and her husband-to-be and the entire Palin family as they walk through a very private matter in the eyes of the public-- Family Research Council
(that's me putting the "mfu" back in emphasis...)
No, this is not Leon Wieseltier without his wig.
Bye! Ian | Sep 05, 08 | 12:06 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Tubes To Nowhere
What they're compalin about all over the "tubes," as they call it in the country of Alaska.
She is ... like most "undecided voters," a bad mom. She named her kids after things... like Harvey's Bristol Cream and bands fronted by David Lee Roth (and old needle marks and water pipes). Anyway, Frig Pox Van Halen, your time is up. And Bristol, you're way creamed on account of there's no exception in the case of insects or statutory rape, on account of being really the mother of your little brother and having the baby with an 18 year old with a red neck and a Jewish name. ... God will judge young Mr. Johnston with a bombvest because of his name, according to her pastor.
Her home school needs a metal detector to keep out young Mr. Johnston. LOL.
She began practicing her theory of the unitary executive here:
She has more executive experience than Obama, who, when driving through on a road trip, stops to take a dump in that place.
She has less experience than that nitwit Governor Kaine, though:
But she was mayor of the meth capital of the world.
Alaska is more American than Hawaii. Even after it secedes.. because it's always Alaska. First. As such, she can't help being a segregationist.
She attended four 2-year colleges and one 4-year college in America and one 2-year madrassa in Hawaii, for a total of 14 years of international undergraduate studies in sportscasting. Compared to Obama, who only transferred once and went to one stupid law school, she is a "Palin scholar" kind of elitist.
Bye! Ian | Aug 29, 08 | 11:30 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Debra's Been Eating At McCain's
Once you've been eating under those golden arches, how could you not vote for the Hamburglar? Who doesn't root for the Hamburglar?
Bye! Ian | Aug 26, 08 | 12:29 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Bagels For Everybody!
Hey, I thought that when Joe bin Biden said he wasn't "the guy" and then threw out those bagels, it was a clue. Chuck "The Bagel" Hagel (below dressed as Joe bin Biden) has endorsed Joe bin Biden as Joe bin Biden himself has endorsed Joe bin Biden as a thrower of bagels: not the VP.
Bye! Ian | Aug 25, 08 | 12:21 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Hell Is Other People
No exit at Brokeback... If they didn't want to talk about that kind of hell-is-other-people, why didn't they talk about this kind of hell-is-other people? ... O yeah, the anti-Christ is the guy tricking the other guys who aren't thinking about this kind of hell on earth by talking about this kind of hell on earth.
Bye! Ian | Aug 19, 08 | 11:11 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................My Own Private Guantanamo
Sadly, not an abomination. Ahem ... speaking of "Obamanation," I see that Carville's wife is behind it, which means that Carville's husband is too.Bye! Ian | Aug 13, 08 | 11:25 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Snap, Squeeze, Pop
Bye! Ian | Jul 10, 08 | 11:02 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Russert Potatoes
Is President Hillary Clinton the only President of the United States who can end all this Scots-Irish -on- Irish bitterness? Yes, she will!... But what will become of all of us Russert potatoes? Potatoes is plural, but it's not plural for potatoe! That's the other kind of potato.
Bye! Ian | Jun 16, 08 | 10:34 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Britta Phillips, I Want To Believe
Bye! Ian | Jun 14, 08 | 8:52 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Shortlist for Vader President
What whitey feared the most: Luke teams up with his father, who is the real James Earl Jones. Forget that Darth Vader! Forget that dark side!Happy Father's Day!
Bye! Ian | Jun 14, 08 | 12:26 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................I Want To Believe ... Geraldine
The "rest of R-US-s" are thinking: First, Teddy is made to look like he got the Gliobama from the Black Oil. Next, the Terry McAuliffe hint to 'Lil Russ' about what might have already happened to 'Big Russ' if he didn't shut up. Now 'Lil Russ' proving what the rest of R-US-s already know. What will become of the rest of R-US-s?In the NYTimes another comment by texting hipster Lesley NEVER4GET "Geraldine" Ferrarro:
Politically and media speaking…I feel for Noobama…he has lost one of his strongest media supporters. Wonder what the media thinks about this one - and whether Noobama can make it without Russert, the media ringleader of the Noobama booster club. Maybe the media will feel freed from Russert’s stranglehold.
Life certainly is strange this particular year.
And to think that Russert died on Friday, the 13th!
Maybe some of the media nastiness of this election season will now stop.
Though I watched Meet the Press going back to the ’50s, I have not watched it in months b/c of Russert’s unabashedly biased behavior.
He [sic] is a loss as a human being, but certainly not as a TV host.
NEVER 4GET.
Scary old lady letter to the Times... I need my voodoo doll.
Bye! Ian | Jun 14, 08 | 12:24 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Krugman's Blog
Paul "Ed" Krugman's website looks as bad as Wilentz's. C'mon, old people. Yes, we can.Bye! Ian | Jun 11, 08 | 12:39 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Forget Baby Mama Obama, Whitey!
O, my shit for Fox. What do we want to talk about? Maybe the FIFTY pages, Courier, double-spaced. Maybe the Thank you as Thank-you. Maybe the thesis. Maybe the Hussein and LaVaughn show...Bye! Ian | Jun 06, 08 | 12:30 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Nope, That's Not A Flag Pin On Your Blue Dress
The Second Husband-wannabe still wants to Barack Yo Mama -- listen, all you children of Gina Gershon... But speaking of Barack Yo Mama...Chapters 1 - 3:
Bye! Ian | Jun 02, 08 | 11:53 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | May 20, 08 | 11:29 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Nice To Mitt You, Carolina
That was good Scientology.
Bye! Ian | May 09, 08 | 12:24 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Ooops. It's Really More Fun In The New Bosnia
I'm guilty of murder of innocent men,
innocent women, innocent children,
thousands of them! My planes, my guns,
my money, my soldiers, my blood on my
hands, it's all my fault! I must not
think bad thoughts. I must not think
bad thoughts.
(-- X, "I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts," More Fun in the New World)
Bye! Ian | Apr 23, 08 | 12:24 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................My New Baby Sister In Death Match With Beast Feeding
So the monster from Scranton doesn't live by eating babies?... Aw, Fiddleshits, Lackawanna County! 74% (43,000) to 26% (15,000)? What the hell? Where is Michael Lally?
Bye! Ian | Apr 22, 08 | 11:25 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Mar 06, 08 | 10:41 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Feb 22, 08 | 9:50 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Not Even Toad The Wet Sprocket
... Not even Counting Crows... Hootie and the Blowfish... Mrs. Paul Simon and the New Bohemians...Bye! Ian | Feb 14, 08 | 12:31 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................The Safety Dance
Because she'll be ready on Day One... But before then, it's the same ol' roll of the dice, a fantasy.
Bye! Ian | Feb 13, 08 | 11:58 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Feb 13, 08 | 11:39 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Jan 28, 08 | 11:36 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Abraham, Martin, and John ... And Sidney Poitier
Dear Barack:
I’m writing to apologize to you and your family personally for the un-called-for comments I made at a recent Clinton event. In my zeal to support Senator Clinton, I made some very inappropriate remarks for which I am truly sorry. I hope that you will accept this apology. Good luck on the campaign trail.
Warm Regards,
Bob Johnson
Bye! Ian | Jan 17, 08 | 8:56 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Predictions
Tom Cruise (the Romneylan) wins Michigan... O, he did already! That was good Scientology.Bye! Ian | Jan 16, 08 | 11:08 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................The Book of Bags: More Fun with Edmond Jabes!
Bye! Ian | Oct 30, 07 | 12:00 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................The Book of Questions
Bye! Ian | Oct 29, 07 | 11:47 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Oct 19, 07 | 12:11 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy Judeo-Christian New Year!
Thanks for the card, Andrew, Athena, Asher, Celia. From our family to yours.
Bye! Ian | Oct 05, 07 | 1:23 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Oct 04, 07 | 12:34 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*A Fashion Problem
Tony Kushner, all decked out like Bowie in his red dinner jacket, says there are angels in Iran like zero times. That's why he hates Iran! And that's why My Dinner Jacket likes Iran so much!Bye! Ian | Oct 01, 07 | 12:23 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Sep 25, 07 | 11:43 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Ask Not, Squeal Not
Sometimes when you think about Mitt's first five sons -- count with me: Tagg, Tad, Todd, and Tab -- you say to yourself with a question mark, gays in the the military?... Anyway, here are Mitt's "other" super moron sons -- those big Moron, I mean, Mormom families! GaEs as well, they're showing that they need to fight the burnt-up parents of dead soldiers over here so that they won't have to fight over there...
Bye! Ian | Sep 22, 07 | 12:24 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Talking To The Hand ... You Dicks!
Last night, outside Licorice Pizza, they were talking super mucho to the future:
"I'm tellin' ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right?" ... "Can you honestly tell me you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Robin Zander, or the charisma of Rick Nielsen?" ... "Doesn't anybody ever fucking knock anymore?!?" ... "Three weeks we've been talking about the Platt Amendment. What are you people, on dope?"... "Learnin' about Cuba. Havin' some food." ... "So what Jefferson was saying was, 'Hey! You know [...] So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too.' Yeah?" ... ""Those guys are fags." ... "Aloha, Mr. Hand." ... "You Dick!" ... "I got you now you son of a bitch! There goes your ride!"
Bye! Ian | Sep 06, 07 | 9:57 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*"Log Cabin" Republicans
Some Republikans say that they are all gay and old like Abe Lincoln. They're called Cabin Republikans. Others like to be gay and old around logs. That's why they're called, Log Cabin Republikans.
Bye! Ian | Sep 03, 07 | 10:31 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Herm-eneutics: Giving It Away...
The rollerbag. The foot... Wide stance! Hand under the stall divider. (Maybe he was feeling for toilet paper in the other stall because the roll in his was pee'd on?) But "Dick Cheney" was giving it away: Hands-Georg Gaydarmer can't add much to the "No!"
At about 1219 hours I held my Police Identification in my right hand down by the floor so that ["Dick Cheney"] Craig could see it. With my left hand near the floor I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, "No!"
("Dick Cheney," when that happens you should say, "No! Get your homo police badge out of my stall!"... or, "No! I thought this was the ladies' room!")
-- Smart thinking!
Bye! Ian | Aug 29, 07 | 11:51 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Alberto To Relieve Himself
On a bad day, they're all gay. How about on a good day? G'day, Alberto "Former-AG"!
Bye! Ian | Aug 28, 07 | 10:45 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Aug 26, 07 | 1:07 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*City Slicker
Billy Crystal, a.k.a., "Kristol," is just being ironic about Iraq?Kristol's good standing in the Washington establishment depends on the wink-and-nod awareness that he's too smart to believe his own agitprop. Perhaps so. But, in the end, a fake thug is not much better than the real thing.
Such name calling. But at least his mother isn't named Midge. No, it's Gertrude Himmelfuck. That line's from my book, Zen Shorts.
Bye! Ian | Aug 25, 07 | 11:14 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*My President Will Litter
Screw Yoko - I mean, Kyoto! - I mean, Hillary ...
Bye! Ian | Aug 25, 07 | 11:46 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Aug 22, 07 | 11:21 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Endive Talkin' With The Homers
Whole Foods: damned if you do, damned if you don't... Mommy knows what I'm talking about.
Bye! Ian | Aug 08, 07 | 10:46 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Jul 02, 07 | 11:29 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
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Bye! Ian | Jun 10, 07 | 10:54 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Habeus Corpus 2007
Bye! Ian | Jun 09, 07 | 12:34 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
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Bye! Ian | Apr 19, 07 | 11:08 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Readers Poll
Who's responsible for Lightnin' McCorzine?
68% - Imus
20% - nappy headed hos waiting for him at his Drumthwacket
12% - that scary tractor in the field at night
Bye! Ian | Apr 17, 07 | 12:42 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Cat's Cradle 3/24!
Bye! Ian | Mar 15, 07 | 12:44 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................How I Won The War
"Cronyism" is he married his cousin in Spanish. "Annulment" too. So, Mitt: cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, mob, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, mobster, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism, cronyism... what a drag ... Try also, he's very "Spanish."
Bye! Ian | Mar 13, 07 | 11:51 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Blue's Clues From The First Circle
The first Constitution is called the pre-animal.
Bye! Ian | Mar 06, 07 | 11:52 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Wear Diapers, Go Nuts
Hartsfield said he couldn't recall the last time an astronaut was arrested and said there were no rules against fraternizing among astronauts.When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.
Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.
-- NYTimes.com
Bye! Ian | Feb 05, 07 | 11:01 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Metalepsis Noted By Merle
Everybody’s twisted around. Freedom ain’t free no more. -- Merle Haggard.The "no mo'" separates genius from your Chevy Tahoe.
Bye! Ian | Jan 29, 07 | 12:40 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*The Breck Guy
Well we can’t afford another disappointing charade in 2008. It’s not only tiresome, it’s wrong. Wrong when businesses have to layoff one employee because they can’t afford the health care of another. Wrong when a parent cannot take a sick child to the doctor because they cannot afford the bill that comes with it. Wrong when 46 million Americans have no health care at all. In a country that spends more on health care than any other nation on Earth, it’s just wrong. -- Breck Obama (you know, the breck guy)
[Update: When did I write this? And what are they saying now...?
Bye! Ian | Jan 26, 07 | 12:42 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Jan 24, 07 | 9:58 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*If Frist You Don't Succeed
Never again... Are we not men? Really...
Bye! Ian | Dec 06, 06 | 12:01 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Dec 05, 06 | 9:24 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*The Hello, Goodbye Fence
If Frist you don't succeed ... try, try again? ... Wait a minute, Minutemen. Are we not men?
Bye! Ian | Dec 04, 06 | 12:11 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*With A Knick-Knack Paddywhack
... Rumsfeld turns in his senior thesis...Bye! Ian | Nov 09, 06 | 2:01 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Smells Like Teen Spirit
Smelling myself like a Republican. Spelling like one too: Hey, Q-T-E! I have no I-D-U!
Bye! Ian | Oct 04, 06 | 10:26 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Oct 02, 06 | 11:35 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*How Do Dinosaurs Say, Apocalypto!
Another Newt in touch with his inner Tom Foley... But the "IM Mel" defense is also pretty popular this summer. Drink up, my little MAF54. Drink up, my little Mel. It's ... Apocalypto!
Bye! Ian | Sep 30, 06 | 12:36 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Demography Is Destiny, Dora!
The numbers don't lie. That's like almost 44 Algerians and 44 Canadians and 68 Iranians and 2x24 Danishes visiting me! All those Muslim countries! As Dora says, Soy so Muslim tambien!
Bye! Ian | Sep 27, 06 | 11:05 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Weekend At Bernie's III?
... Minutes later, Kerik called a contact at Giuliani Partners, former Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s consulting firm, asking him to find a recording device, according to documents.What were they thinking at Giuliani Mobsters? Maybe that if Bernie had actually gotten his job as Homeland Security Guard, we would have bugged Osama and Bert by now? (Because what are we supposed to do? Watch him f--k him every night?)
Smart thinking! --
Bye! Ian | Sep 27, 06 | 10:18 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Weekend Is Not So Over!
Just like "Weekend at Bernie's II"! There's a boat! But in the movie they didn't actually have dialogue like this - it was PG!Homeland Security Guard Kerik: '“But [District Attorney] Jeanine, I’m having the same f------g problem with everybody. Everybody is panic stricken because it’s you. I’ve gone out on a limb. I had two other people looking at this. It’s a problem.”
District Attorney Jeanine" “What am I supposed to do, [Security Guard] Bernie? Watch him f--k her every night? What am I supposed to do? I can go on the boat. I’ll put the f-----g thing on myself.”
Smart thinking! --
Bye! Ian | Sep 27, 06 | 10:01 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*State of Denial: Poop Marks The Way...
Page 235: The chipmunk's brain on k-Iraq, the night of the party. Let's do a round!
Bye! Ian | Sep 26, 06 | 11:48 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*No Respect, I Tell Ya...
A "hit job"? Whoa? Frank Sinatra, Jr.?
"Frank Sinatra, Jr. (born Franklin Wayne Sinatra on January 10, 1944) is an American singer and conductor.
"He is the son of famed musician Frank Sinatra and his first wife, Nancy Barbato.
"Frank Jr. has always existed in the shadow of his far more famous father. Whether he is genuinely talented in his own right has been widely disputed. His supporters feel that if he had been born with another name he could have achieved quite a following of his own, while his detractors have claimed that he has made his entire career off his name.
"... In the later stages of his father's performing career, Frank Sinatra, Jr. became his father's musical director and conductor."
-- Wikipedia!
Bye! Ian | Sep 25, 06 | 11:06 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Not Your Average Tom, Dick, And Harry
Hello to someone at the University of Tehran. Peace, my brother or sister. Anyway, I was in my, how do you say, bunker full of sticker books when you stopped by.I have a new sticker book called, Trees and Leaves.
See you at the seder - I mean, cedar.
Bye! Ian | Sep 22, 06 | 12:03 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................What Does That Mean?
'What does that mean, “outrages upon human dignity”?'
'What does that mean, “outrages upon human dignity”?'
"That’s like — it’s very vague. What does that mean, “outrages upon human dignity”?
Bye! Ian | Sep 19, 06 | 11:10 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................How They Found Me
Apparently, gogurt is a real food.How they found me today: "gogurt monster catch."
Bye! Ian | Sep 13, 06 | 11:39 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Googling, Eh?
Someone from -- o -- Canada found me with these words:big baby pooped his diaper
Googling for "information," eh?
Bye! Ian | Sep 12, 06 | 11:18 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*View From My Window
There's a little swearword in my backyard: stupid, goddemmit!
Bye! Ian | Sep 11, 06 | 11:02 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Green Macacas
... Which reminds me: Sam! If you will let me be, I will learn to like those macacas, you will see.
Throw all them macacas out, one conifer at a time.
Bye! Ian | Sep 11, 06 | 12:06 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Big Time, Yep
Thanks for the link, washingtonpost.com... On my way to being "major league," "big time" ... .
Bye! Ian | Aug 28, 06 | 11:09 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Bonjour, Algeria
Thanks for visiting.
(Sort of looks like Grandpa Lim...)
Bye! Ian | Aug 28, 06 | 10:35 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*How They Found Me
twinkle twinkle firefly open court
"wheat free oreos"
"zippity doo dah zippity day"
ian porno (some man from Woods Hole (!) Massachusetts)
rip ian september 4, 2005 (someone really has it out for Ian)
bagel brothers 2 somerville
urinal Bug
kfc sponge bob dora (someone from Japan)
rudy giuliani drag
philip rieff (ha! surprise!)
calvin pees stickers
principal good bye poem
ian in anime
krefeld (??)
gaydar.it
rectangul geometry (some European guy with bad spelling)
pics of babylon
A gaggle of googling people... I'm going to mow my lawn...
Bye! Ian | Aug 27, 06 | 12:27 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Yoo Got Some Balls ... That Aren't Yoo's.
"Cassel [who's dis guy?]: If the president deems that he's got to torture somebody, including by crushing the testicles of the person's child, there is no law that can stop him?Yoo [who is Yoo?]: No treaty
Cassel [who's dis guy again?]: Also no law by Congress -- that is what you wrote in the August 2002 memo...
Yoo [who is Yoo again?]: I think it depends on why the President thinks he needs to do that..."
Old news (thanks, Daily Dish)... but we just moved to "Waterbug" World (crush this!). Any-Yoo, the last "that" makes Big Fat Yoo look like he's not seeing the balls for the hyperbole... or is that the hyperbole for the balls?
Bye! Ian | Aug 11, 06 | 10:13 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Roach Motel, NC?
Momma doesn't know yet...
Bye! Ian | Aug 06, 06 | 11:08 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*RIP, Avengers
This is me in the pensive style of Philip Rieff and Susan Sontag:
A rose is a rose of course of course. Uranus is big; your Venus is small. I'm doing my solar system puzzle. It's not scary...
Bye! Ian | Jul 08, 06 | 9:16 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Jul 06, 06 | 10:42 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Somebody Tell The Phonics Monkey
A is NOT for egg. A is for Ant...
and C is for seashore - and seagull
and D is for decision
and E is for Ian
and I is for IKEA
and K is for car - and cat
and Emu is for Email
Phonics monkey, are you tired yet? Polls show you're even below Shock the Monkey-Tom Cruise numbers!
Bye! Ian | May 13, 06 | 11:11 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy Mother's Day!
Only some of you are MADD, StupiDD ... with too much time on your hands! Dora is saying, I took your job and now I'm driving the bulldoze drunk to Home Dekos! Quick, call Mothers Against Drunk Dora! But tell them that mothers don't let mothers ... you know, call people illegal or deport them in front of their children. Just time out.
Bye! Ian | May 13, 06 | 10:29 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Praise The Jesus
Paul Newman's Dairy Free, Wheat Free Oreos!
Bye! Ian | May 10, 06 | 9:48 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Yes, Sir, That's Funny!
Click to see video (no, it's not porno anymore; it's not even Windows Media Player anymore!)
... first as tragedy, second as farce... third as all those humorless people out dere sounding like Jedediah Purdy. Da Funny Police says, What's so funny about:
Stickers on your feet?
Zoolander?
Pulp Fiction?
Or a sucker punch?
That Bush was like Colbert! But now he's even more of a bastard!
Bye! Ian | May 02, 06 | 10:25 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................And Now Back To "That's My Bush"...
(Download Flash if you can't see the movie.)With no futher interruptions. What the polls show: We are all Victoria Principal in the shower now (for all you Gramps!).
Bye! Ian | Apr 11, 06 | 11:57 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Depends
I kinda sorta talked about Big Pee Dick Cheney leaking here and dere on this blog. Looks like finally they will try a "Depends" defense.Bye! Ian | Apr 06, 06 | 9:37 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*730 Days And Nights
I'm two much old...!
(Click on the pictures to see the crumbs... and click here to see some bums.)
Bye! Ian | Apr 02, 06 | 12:01 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy Birthday
Suckers ... and Smelito!Bye! Ian | Apr 01, 06 | 10:39 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Hell's Bells
Making strict construction workers of us all. Way to go, NinO! Did you, like me, also ask the priest to listen to the hell's bells?
Bye! Ian | Mar 31, 06 | 7:20 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Dat Man's A Penis
Dis is worse than saying something bad about Anne Frank. Because you put her dere.Bye! Ian | Mar 30, 06 | 11:48 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................When You Fell Down...
it's grabby!
Bye! Ian | Mar 28, 06 | 8:07 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Mar 28, 06 | 12:17 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Dressed For Success?
Dressed For PBS? Day 725 without television... Cracker?
Bye! Ian | Mar 28, 06 | 12:10 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Mar 22, 06 | 11:13 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................What Swedes Are In My Bath
Cups from IKEA. They're Swedish. My pumpkin. It's Swedish.Bye! Ian | Mar 21, 06 | 11:21 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Your Momma Dresses You Funny; Or, Kids, Do Not Try This at Home
Here's some soft science about whiny, insecure kids growing up to rule the world in an unholy alliance with ... I dunno WHAT dat is!
... 
!Anyway, anytime is always a good time to remember Calvin Trillin's poem about Richard Perle.
Bye! Ian | Mar 21, 06 | 10:13 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................One, Two, Flea
Flea is a bug.
Bye! Ian | Mar 20, 06 | 11:33 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*New Math
29% of Republicans support the Feingold in me.
33% of Americans still like the Hero Zero.
So go figure out the senators.
Bye! Ian | Mar 16, 06 | 10:26 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Mar 15, 06 | 10:13 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Death Wish IV
Whacky-whacked Dr. Frist sounding a little like a tangelo- I mean, a mango - I mean, Mengele.
From CNN.com: He criticized Feingold for introducing the censure resolution "at the same time we have terrorists right now intending to attack Western civilization and the people of our homeland."
To which Russ replied:
"As they said to Mengele, 'If you're such a great doctor, why are you here?'"
Bye! Ian | Mar 13, 06 | 11:09 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Oscar Prediction ... Again
Crash is the feel-good, made-for-TV movie of the year. I dunno. I think it just might win...Bye! Ian | Mar 05, 06 | 11:25 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Death Wish III
So Rummy says, You call that torture? Some days I have to stand up for eight, ten hours! Well, says Fat John Yoo, technically it's not torture, but when I play racquetball -- it's murder on not just my feet but my fat! Then Bush, hooding himself, strapping himself to a waterboard, stuffing himself in a sleeping bag, says, Oh, yeah? You numbnuts think that's bad...?Bye! Ian | Feb 22, 06 | 7:06 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Feb 21, 06 | 8:59 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*& Now A New Sucky Blog
I think Ana Marie Cox changed her name from Wonkette to ... Ana Marie Cox. That's about as sharp as her blogs sound. But what do I know? I'm less than two... Dat's a penis?Bye! Ian | Feb 19, 06 | 11:23 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*The "Your Face Is Like Iraq" Game
He misfires (again) and the game continues. What Dick said to Harry but won't tell Fox:1. "Asking for help would be unwise in the extreme."
2. "I think things have gotten so bad inside... my belief is you will, in fact, greet me as a liberator."
3. "I think you're in the last throes, if you will, of that surging pain."
4. "I thought you said bird flu."
5. "Go #$@! yourself." (Whatever that means.)
Bye! Ian | Feb 13, 06 | 12:44 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*George Washington Cartman - Jesus, This Is Too Weird
What-e-vuh to what this Clarence Thomas said. Maybe, um, screw you guys, Washington did too have email. But, Jesus, it's just a little weird how everything Michael Berube writes implodes in a Cartman reference.
Bye! Ian | Feb 07, 06 | 9:58 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Death Wish I
Be brave, LegoLand.
Bye! Ian | Feb 07, 06 | 9:38 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Feb 05, 06 | 9:29 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*The Hairy Arms Race Is So Over!
Interesting news from some Euro Pee'n Ians. So, it looks like we won the hairy arms race! Oh, yeah, so stay away, you Iranians, or we will have to ban future arm hair!
Thank you, Ben Greenman and www.bushorchimp.com
Bye! Ian | Feb 04, 06 | 2:00 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Feb 02, 06 | 11:19 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Feb 02, 06 | 10:09 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................
Bye! Ian | Jan 30, 06 | 11:27 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Justice Smelito
When all is said and done, the DLC's Bruce Reed just wanted to tell us that he went to Princeton, I think, just like ... Sam Alito! Or, as the kids back in Trenton called him, Smelito...! (Not Scalito! As in: That's not Daddy, that's just a man!)Bruce, ok ... ok ... ok ... Christ.
CAP. CRAP. After all is said and done: Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito.Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito. Smelito.
Bye! Ian | Jan 25, 06 | 11:23 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Hello Again. Do You Like My Hat?
Zippity-doo-dah, zippity-day. My, oh my, time flew by -- fassst! Like a chickadeedeedee. A titmouse.
A very late Happy Birthday to:
A-Dawg, who turned 2;
E-Dawg, who turned 2;
Baby Jesus, who turned like 5;
all the hat people who turned 8.
And to everybody, welcome to a new annus horribles -- brought to you by the old horrible anuses. Let me tell you: Take it from Gore Vidal - he knows! Hello again, new year! I do not like your hat! Good-by!
Bye! Ian | Jan 25, 06 | 11:20 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................A-Dawg, You Shouldn't Have
Pretty phat, that chair. Rocket!From Pee'n Ian.
Bye! Ian | Nov 27, 05 | 10:15 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*The Cosell of Thanatos
Is still alive! Philip Rieff, sportsfans!... Philip Rieff -- sportsfan! When my daddy talked to him in his office, he told my daddy that his office looked like Hegel's. But my daddy started watching sports a little after Python, so he couldn't really add much to that conversation.... Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside. But Confucius has answered them with the final whistle! It's all over! Germany, having trounced England's famous midfield trio of Bentham, Locke and Hobbes in the semi-final, have been beaten by the odd goal, and let's see it again.
But Rieff sure was good in some of those other sketches! Looks just like Rieff! It's the same Rieff!
Bye! Ian | Nov 11, 05 | 12:00 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Justice Pepito?
All this talk about Judge Pepito. How about: nice man, but Opus Dei ...?
Bye! Ian | Nov 03, 05 | 1:15 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................New CD
[Click for large back cover]
Barefoot Records is coming out with my CD. Almost eponymously titled, as they say on Amazon.com. Remember: Amazon.com!
Bye! Ian | Oct 11, 05 | 10:20 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Meanwhile, Back in Babylon
Back in those days. (I'm way in the back of this picture). Sigh... Ian James' Babylon is coming up on one. Sigh.
Bye! Ian | Oct 06, 05 | 12:10 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................And Then There Was Larabee...
The assistant at CONTROL. Max's friend.
Bye! Ian | Oct 05, 05 | 12:06 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*And Then There Was None...
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was breached...
Bye! Ian | Oct 04, 05 | 11:53 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Ian Anime!
I have the First Book of Sushi memorized (this maki, that maki, this roe, that roe, wasabi hot hot hot). Anyway, as they sing in the House of the Rice and Sun:
There iiiiis a hoooouuuuse in New Orleans -- o, no!
Subarashii chinchin mono
Kintama no kame aru
Sore no oto sarubobo
Iie! Ninja ga imasu
Hey Hey Let's Go! kinka suru
Taisetsu na mono protect my balls!
Boku ga warui so let's fighting
Let's fighting love...
Let's fighting love...
Kono uta chotto baka
Wake ga wakaranai
Eigo ga mechakucha
Daijobu We do it all the time!
... Apropos (of nothing, except there are always a lot of Japanese people in Apple stores), Ian has a new sponsor! (see below the Ian Approved! links)
Bye! Ian | Sep 25, 05 | 11:23 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Sep 19, 05 | 9:54 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Meanwhile, Back in Madison...
The urinal bug has struck again...! Tom, are you OK?!!Bye! Ian | Sep 14, 05 | 10:10 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Babble On ...
cah bike mawnmower bus boat airplane helicaca choo choo car dump car tunney bridge help tunney inside
house barn morning grampa gramma hominy Nick Chris Paw Shirley Riley Bobo Ra Ra Ariel Nick house mom momma dadda daddy gramma house knock knock gramma car people lady man boy cowooboy pup horse cowoo baa chicken duck bird fowg raccoon hippo tigee owul bunnay moose bear koala elephant camel dog kitty... go! kitty, get down! firefly firefly, go! firefly, get down! go'way! go! raaain, go away! Hey Lady ...man ... kid ... vavavoom Momma ... Back!
bubbles pretty flower plant tree sky clouds bug moon sun moon sun moon star moon bug! hole button pots (spot) lights bell singing twinkle twinkle how I up above ABCDE ... QRS ... Muffin Man ... Pat-a-cake pat-a-cake ... row row row merry merry
heavay splash! inside outside up above upside down open close upstairs downstairs on off burp cue me (excuse me) fart rumble! yes you're welcome
bowl (s)poon fa(r)k honney tetchup burger booger gogurt pasta caca (broccoli) cafe (coffee) Coke wawa milk spoon fork bowl guggle (cookie Cookie Monster bagel Winnebago Van Gogh puzzle) bread cracker chicken hot dog (chicken no nitrates) hot cold meh meh (oatmeal) ba-nan-na apple paer kosh (squash) pumpkin plum froot crem (soy ice cream) cold (soy ice cream) choclit pluot girl cheese (soy cheese delicious) wash cloth dish wash
Down go! Down go! Keep gonig! Keep gonig! Nay Nein poopoo poopoo coming diaper sock inside shew pants Melmo (Elmo) Bert Ernie Big Bird (whom I have only seen on my diapers)... TV (which I never get to see except when getting my nails clipped) CD singing book magazine catalogue circgul ovgul triangee crayn (crayon) purple red blue green black paper Pop-Ons Pop-On car Legos phone ... what dat? again Shayspear (Shakespeare) fan Monet rug Matisse belt goodbye, comb goodbye brush goodbye kittens goodbye moon
bubble eye brush hair hair brush brush teeth toothbrush Tylenee bafroom duck hat momma bafroom baf A C P Y M C 3 4 5 Q R K S W T N O 1 X knee arm Hand Hand (... Fingers Thumb) toes hair eye nose mouth ear teeth belly booboo booby butt poonie (penis) wash hand poopoo hair all gone net fosh alligaty dolphfan shak shaaak! hair ... hair!
Bye! Ian | Sep 10, 05 | 4:26 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Goodbye, Skipper and Li'l Buddy
Rehnquist, before he died, used to get a chuckle from this T shirt that was sold at the Supreme Court gift shop-- of Justice Souter. So come the tales out of Totenberg's mouth...
Bye! Ian | Sep 02, 05 | 12:02 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Imagined Communities
Bye! Ian | Jul 12, 05 | 10:04 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*More Ass
Night, night, Paul Ricoeur. Uh-ohhh! Dead only a day or so and already -- morass! President Ted Baxter says:"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005. (Thanks, Slate.)
"You are Audrey Ceglinski... You look great. You look like a hundred to me." —Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005. (Thanks, NPR .)
Bye! Ian | May 25, 05 | 10:19 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Frank Conroy, RIP
When you're a baby, it's all style. And then when you're older it's all about "something." Phooey.When you're all grown up, it's about style. Rest in peace, Frank Conroy.
Bye! Ian | Apr 07, 05 | 1:50 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*"Arrivederci, Turkeys."
And Good Bye to you too, John Paul, Jr.. Adieu. Adios. Adeus. Arrivederci. Auf Wiedersehen. Do svidaniya. Do zobaczenia. Vade in pace... Habeas corpus. Esse est percipi. Habemus papam. Et escariorium lavator. Et cetera.It's OK that you died on my first birthday. I was sick too! No 'round the world commemoration for me, no thanks. Anyway, commemorating when it all began for you, in 1978, let's sing:
Chico, don't be discouraged,
The Man he ain't so hard to understand.
Chico, if you try now,
I know that you can lend a helping hand.
Because there's good in everyone
And a new day has begun
You can see the morning sun if you try.
And I know, things will be better
Oh yes they will for Chico and the Man
Yes they will for Chico and the Man.
Bye! Ian | Apr 03, 05 | 1:25 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy April Fool's Day!
Happy Birthday, suckers!Bye! Ian | Apr 01, 05 | 12:47 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*If I Were A Rich Man
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.All day long I'd biddy biddy bum ba ba ba... cah!
Oy, if I had a dollar for every one of these stories and every one of these blog entries. I should be a rich man! What? You want now that I should buy the Schindlers' List?
Bye! Ian | Mar 29, 05 | 11:40 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Geometry
Thanks to my puzzle, now I see "guls" everywhere... as in "circgul," "rectangul," "triangul," "ov...gul."Bye! Ian | Mar 29, 05 | 11:35 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Lexicography
A fish is called a "net" because, in the inflatable duck bath, you catch it in the "net." You also find "boats" in the bath, and they are "boats" even though they get caught in my "net."Bye! Ian | Mar 29, 05 | 11:33 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Literary Criticism
When the chameleon says, in A Color of His Own:
"If I remain on a leaf
I shall be green forever,
and so I too will have
a color of my own"
doesn't it make you think -- for no good reason -- of the line from Ammon's Hymn:
and if I find you I must stay here with the separate leaves?
Literary criticism is what tries to explain the "no good reason."
Bye! Ian | Mar 23, 05 | 11:54 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Mar 21, 05 | 12:01 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*George F. Kennan, RIP
-- From the Teletubbies of Death: Po, Wo, Fo, Itz.
Bye! Ian | Mar 18, 05 | 1:44 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Cah...!
Words I'm programmed to say (I write a lot better than I speak):baba (baby)
Babug (Baby Bug - the magazine my gramma got me)
baaer (bear)
ball
bath
book
cah (in Bostonese, no less: car)
done (with sign language too)
duck
grrr (Grover)
kitkat (kitty)
more (with sign language too)
nnhiiiights (lights)
nana (short for banana)
nhiiiigh (hi)
wawa (water)
... I like "cah" the best.
Bye! Ian | Mar 14, 05 | 4:10 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*My Mom Maybe Lost Her Pants At Victoria's Secret
She was wearing jeans that day, and she thinks she had them on when we left the store but we can't find them anywhere...! But Mommy, I babbled, nobody wears pants at Victoria's Secret! Buy three panties and get the fourth for free!Bye! Ian | Mar 12, 05 | 8:43 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Oscars Predictions!
Clint will look even less menacing, and Hilary Swank even more so, when they win again next year... along with Martin Lawrence for a biopic about Martin Luther King, called Martin!
Bye! Ian | Mar 01, 05 | 12:06 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Feb 25, 05 | 12:38 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Gone-zo
Guckert/Gannon is still alive but Hunter S. Thompson is dead. Gonzo journalism these days...Bye! Ian | Feb 21, 05 | 12:19 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Busted! Or, Jeff Gannon's Sugartime
If one of Jeff Gannon's websites had been called Sugartime!, then for sure the stupid White House would have barred him at the door. Poor Buster! I don't get it. Anyway, my friends in the TV-viewing community (I still can't watch TV, my mom says) are crying out loud, Drag the traitor out of the closet! One thing's for sure: nothing will be THAT big of a surprise...
Bye! Ian | Feb 17, 05 | 10:50 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*TV Makes You Crazy
Tonight, I'm watching either the Super Bowl or The Odd Couple... or nuthin, cuz my mom still won't let me watch TV -- and, besides, I'm crazy as it is.
Bye! Ian | Feb 06, 05 | 12:44 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Ian Updated!
Also... this blog has been updated! I am always a little nuts and I'm always changing what I wrote so I can sleep at night! Anyway, now on this blog, there's a listing of titles, where you can see which entries have been revised. (But I gotta warn you. Sometimes it's just a word or two that's been changed! It's like finding Waldo. What fun! How compelling!) Also, the blog has a new home page. Check it out!
Bye! Ian | Feb 06, 05 | 12:28 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................What Do You Know!
So is my one Gramma ABD? What do you know! Congrats, Gramma! I'm A(&)D(on)B right now.Bye! Ian | Feb 04, 05 | 12:40 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Freedom Is On A Moonwalk
Bye! Ian | Feb 01, 05 | 12:30 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* Dick Pooped His Pants, You Guys
No doubt. His face tells it all. That's why he has on those DORK clothes at Auschwitz. This is a common mistake made by mothers. Lynne should know to keep an extra change of good clothes in the diaper bag. Anyway, "no comment" from his staff means he did it...
Bye! Ian | Jan 30, 05 | 2:58 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* Will It Be Freedom Or WHAM! In Iraq Tomorrow?
This is a George Michael wall rug. WHAM! What was it good for? ... But seriously. From Der Spiegel:
One Iraqi voter explained his confusion succinctly, telling CNN that he would prefer to vote for pop idol George Michael because he knows more about the singer than about any of the candidates.
Which then made the reporter wonder if the guy wanted to talk more about George Michael or the bad stuff happening around him. That was left unanswered when the Iraqi started breakdancing and broke into song (and kept going):
I don't want your freedom, I don't want to play around.
I don't want nobody, baby, part time love just brings me down...
I don't want your freedom, I don't want to play around. ...
Can't you see I'm hurting, baby,
You're hurting me, baby, hurting me, baby.
You're hurting me, baby, hurting me, baby. ...
I don't want your freedom, I don't need to play around. ...
I don't want your freedom, I don't want to play around. ...
I don't want your, I don't want your, I don't want your, ...
WHAM! is not the answer, some Marvin (actually, everybody in this picture is a dork - W. most of all, for taking part in a husband and wife colorectal screening and then looking so proud) once sang, back in the golden-oldies Bronze Age. Only the elections will tell us for sure. Right now it looks like they went better than expected. Hooray. Goes to show that WHAM! was totally stupid.
Bye! Ian | Jan 30, 05 | 2:12 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* Bush Lamest of All, Though He Don't Read The Internets
Google result for Bush: 85,100,000. Compare that to the almost 50 million for Jesus. That's including all kinds of bush, sure. But all the Mexican Jesuses too. So it balances out.Bye! Ian | Jan 30, 05 | 1:26 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* Jesus Is Sorry Too
Googling Jesus you get 49,800,000 sites. When he is Googling himself, he must eventually feel pretty sorry for needing all that web validation.Bye! Ian | Jan 30, 05 | 1:16 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Everybody Is Sorry
Lots of people, including me, are on this site where people send in pictures showing how sorry they really are. We're so lame. Some guys put up pictures of their dogs and cats and non-blogging babies on the site, just to pretend that really they aren't so sorry. But then other guys are more honest and put up pictures of themselves kissing their brothers-- that's pretty sorry. Anyway, everybody on it is lame. Everybody wants to be somewhere on the web....Speaking of which, when I used to Google for this blog's name, I would be number 1 if I did an exact search. But no longer! Sucky! Now I'm only number 1 on Yahoo or Alta Vista, which is like being number 2 and number nothing. Anyway, I recently registered with Blodgex and Blogwise. You really don't have to guess that bloggers are bloggers because they're pretty attention-starved. In a "hyper" way, ahem. By that I mean, in a weird way too. We are all like lounge singers. Sort of creepy... sort of sorry.
Bye! Ian | Jan 30, 05 | 12:41 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* Jesus' Gaydar (Apologies To The United Church of Christ)
"Hmmm, why would a sponge be sporting square pants? Hmmm, so neatly pressed?" That's SMU Jesus' gaydar for you. But you know what about gaydar? It's sort of fishy. It's like when they say in school, "He who smelt it, dealt it." And me? When it comes to cartoons, I ... when it comes to cartoons, I nuthin! My mom won't let me watch any cartoons.Bye! Ian | Jan 22, 05 | 3:21 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Thank God Almighty
Tomorrow we celebrate MLK Day. FREE MiLK! At last!Bye! Ian | Jan 16, 05 | 5:57 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* John Paul Clones
All this talk about the next Pope. Fellow Romans, I say that if you like your papa, don't be shy. Why not clone him? My science background tells me that, etymologically speaking, the result should look like this:
Like this, I mean...Bye! Ian | Jan 13, 05 | 12:04 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Hey, 2005
Happy Birthday, 2005. Everybody party hardy ... like it's 2025.
Bye! Ian | Jan 01, 05 | 1:47 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy Xmas 2004
Happy Birthday to all the little Jesuses out there, who must be so thankful today for their loot.
Bye! Ian | Dec 25, 04 | 1:05 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* Weekend at Bernie's
This sign is so funny. Not just an apartment but an entire complex! Funny, but not funny ha ha. Like when we saw last summer how every person of G-O-P was getting their jollies near Ground Zero. It was like Weekend at Bernie's back then! Not so funny, really. Anyway, this apartment complex is also a prison and was once called "The Tombs." Funny? No. But apropos.
Bye! Ian | Dec 17, 04 | 1:37 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy B-day To ADawG!
From Pee'n Ian.Bye! Ian | Dec 15, 04 | 11:13 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Dec 15, 04 | 12:22 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Meanwhile, in Bizarro World ...
Maureen, it's called HushWorld. Maybe after the medals, they were taken back and ... POP POP. KLOPP ... KNOCK KNOCK. BOOM BOOM. SPLATT. Last a whisper whisper and that is that!
Bye! Ian | Dec 14, 04 | 11:51 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy Hanukkah
A never-too-late Happy Birthday to all my Jewish friends!Bye! Ian | Dec 13, 04 | 12:35 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Bye! Ian | Dec 10, 04 | 11:56 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Beware The Urinal Bug
A conversation I heard at dinner: In the bathroom, at my dad's work, there's a bug that stands inside the urinal. And then when someone new pees, it's dangerous! There's a sign that reads, Beware the Urinal Bug. It's dangerous!Bye! Ian | Dec 10, 04 | 6:00 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................* Hitch, Your Wagon?
I went to Mr. Beller's Neighborhood and was scared by this picture! I closed my eyes and squiggled away as fast as I could. It made me remember a stinky time when I was littler ... Hitch! Even I could smell it on his breath, and I was just a little baby when he said this. A stump is a stump but everywhere else he says the Moron is a hedgehog. Sip.
Bye! Ian | Dec 10, 04 | 12:35 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Soy Delicious
Good bye, Nutramigen ($$$)! Hello, new stuff. You're soy delicious... But you give my ass The Gas and my butt The Putts.Bye! Ian | Dec 05, 04 | 12:40 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................How Do I Do It?
People ask me, how can I blog at 7 (going on 8) months? It's easy! I use that Stephen Hawking machine!... Click click click.Bye! Ian | Nov 26, 04 | 7:47 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Happy Turkey Day
Happy Birthday, you turkeys! My mom tells me it's your birthday.Bye! Ian | Nov 25, 04 | 10:28 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................We'll Always Have Spin Alley ... Not!
Speaking of all the president's missussess. Anyway, riddles are just fun. Okay, what's this? A 9-11 hero, a 9-11 ho... and then I dunno. Barbara Bush? (Or, is this Rudy's very good friend, "Judy"?) We'll always have spin alley? Not!
Bye! Ian | Nov 24, 04 | 11:51 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Your Wife Is Your Secretary?
From Andrew Sullivan's latest article. The Rice gets a little sticky:At a Georgetown dinner party recently, she made the Freudian slip of referring to the president as her "husband."
Bye! Ian | Nov 24, 04 | 6:29 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................But Can Condi Make Palindromes?
'Nuff said? I try really hard but can't help it: same big head, teeth, and embarrassing insecurities... about fitting in, finding a boyfriend, and maybe even her brain. All that testifying and justifying too. Remember The Simpsons episode where Lisa hangs with the cool kids one summer? Or the one where she wants to go to military academy ("Truth is beauty, beauty truth, Sir!") because it's better than her dumb school? Or the one where the new girl in school is smarter and from a way more clever family than hers? Can Condi make palindromes?
The Unsticker? One big geek in love, letting Nelson, our president, call her that. Maybe Kearney, our VP, would teach her a lesson otherwise.
Bye! Ian | Nov 23, 04 | 6:48 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................JFK Meat
Jiminy cricket. Recriminations were flying with the fries, says Ryan Lizza. Well, the "Real Deal," sounded a lot like the Happy Meal version of "Where's the Beef?" At least you needed to say something like, "Don't you want to supersize that?," because rednecks don't buy their kids Happy Meals. Needed something they could relate to. I mean, JFK said that Milhouse had a gap where his missile should have been, and people got it. And this time it could have been the same thing with this bush and our JFK2. Shrum, you stupid! And, oh yeah: Wonkette, you shut up!There's a new video game out today, JFK Reloaded, where you can shoot JFK1 a quadrillion times to show Oliver Stone he was being so stupid and the red-staters that they're right again: guns are fu-u-un.
Bye! Ian | Nov 22, 04 | 11:41 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................KFC Meat
I ate chicken today (not KFC!). My mom tells me I did. Not sure what I think.Bye! Ian | Nov 22, 04 | 10:12 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Why Am I Pro-choice?
Because I didn't ask to be born!Bye! Ian | Nov 21, 04 | 11:08 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Jesus And Mary Cheney
So much retro distortion! All those states voting on Defense of Mary referenda. He should never have said that Mary Cheney was born a lesbian. As they say next door in Jesusland, it's one thing to be born lesbian and another thing to stay a lesbian. Voters voted to give credit where credit is due, to the Cheneys and none to a cheap political stunt. As Howard Dean once said: "John Kerry ... puh-leeze!" Hooray for Mary that she has a lesbian mom!
Bye! Ian | Nov 16, 04 | 10:42 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Filling Your Pants with VP
These days, all these stupid Republican guys are talking about Dick Cheney's diaper in a dirty way. Like the way they talk about Britney Spears and other stupid stuff I've never heard of.... I wasn't born yesterday. Anyone who pees his number-60 diaper full while eating lunch with some old guy called Bart Starr better stay away from me. Anyway, here's a picture of the lunch date. I don't know what the little girl is doing there. And what's with the stupid goatie? ... Homeland Security!Bye! Ian | Nov 15, 04 | 10:42 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................*Fuzzy Wuzzy
Luna comes to town on their final tour. The real Jem rocks, oh boy. But my dad won't take me. And he probably won't go. A fan's take on "Rock n' roll is killing my life."Bye! Ian | Nov 15, 04 | 1:30 am| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Marty Peretz Is Really Old And Really Mean For No Real Reason
I like to read the New Republic, especially the culture desk. But Marty Peretz is a shit all the time. Worse than Kaus.Bye! Ian | Nov 12, 04 | 10:16 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
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Bye! Ian | Nov 10, 04 | 10:51 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Mental Asylum For The Hosed
My parents are trying to find a mental asylum in Canada. And I don't think it's because of me, eh?Bye! Ian | Nov 03, 04 | 10:19 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
..................................................................................Some Birthday
I'm 7 months today. Some birthday. At this age the only one of them I can take on is Richard Perle.Bye! Ian | Nov 02, 04 | 11:25 pm| Send to a friend | Top of the tower
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